The Whole 'Tude Family!

The Whole 'Tude Family!
Trying to stay warm...Snuggling: the answer to the quest for world peace!

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Remembering Kyle

I'm back!

Many blogs to come about just what's been keeping me away, but before I tell that story I'd like to tell a few other stories...

I've been playing with ideas for a few weeks, but none seemed quite right just yet. I woke up to the familiar overload of ideas in the circus that is my head at 4 (note time change-it's usually 3 am when this happens!). This idea demanded an audience, and I can't think of a topic more deserving of my attention.

One of my former students passed away last week, and, even though I have known for years that this was coming, it hit me like nothing I expected. No one should ever have to endure the death of a child, but life doesn't typically ask permission nor does it guarantee that every day is going to come gift wrapped regardless of my opinion. So in my always-looking-for-the-silver-lining-kind-of-way, of course I've been mining my heart and mind to figure out what I can take forward from my experience with this brave young man that would light up Heaven with his smile.

Kyle was born with a syndrome that greatly reduced his life expectancy and promised many medical challenges along the way. I'm sure I don't know more than a fraction of what his family endured caring for him, but what the people who raised that young man instilled in him will forever impress me.

I will never forget the first day I met Kyle. That kid knew how to make an entrance! He rolled in my classroom pushing his Mustang of a walker with enough gear attached to climb Everest, parked it in the middle of the room, made himself comfortable in the front-and-center seat at my table, looked at me, and said, "You are a beautiful lady."

And I'd say that's pretty typical of this little charmer. Now he also had a bit of a stubborn streak, so we had to compromise on a few things. For instance, the Mustang couldn't very well stay parked right there in the middle of God and everybody, so we made it a "Reserved" parking space with duct tape. Every Monday, I could not start class until Kyle told me about his weekend, which usually became somehow connected to our topic for the week. Needless to say, with Kyle as a student, maniacal laughter was guaranteed on a regular basis.

I could tell a million Kyle stories, but those are mine. The one I find looping in my thoughts when I remember him lingers as possibly the most touching thing a student has ever done for me. The second year I taught Kyle, our classes changed quite a bit with new juniors and the loss of a few seniors. The dynamic was of course a bit different, and the kids with whom I'd spent the previous year knew how things just sort of went in my class, and the new guys weren't quite on board yet. One day, we were off and running when one of my new students walked in about 20 minutes late, as was his habit. I asked for his pass to class, and this kid got right in my face yelling. And I won't lie--it was scary! Before I had a chance to say or do anything, Kyle put his little balled up fists on the table next to me, pushed himself to his full 4-foot-something height, stepped between this kid and me with his finger pointing in his face, and said something I will never, ever forget. "Hey! This is a lady, and you don't.....talk......to a LADY.....that way! Got it!"

And everyone froze.

The kid backed down and found his seat without another word. I sat down and went on with my reading group. The other kids followed suit. But Kyle turned around to the kid who in his mind had greatly insulted me and said, "Apologize." And he did too.

When the bell rang that day, I told the tardy kid I needed him to bring me his pass. I asked Kyle to stick around for a minute. His face told me he thought for sure he was in trouble. But I sat down and told him thank you, that I thought he was one of the bravest young men in the whole school, and in the future I could take care of the kids who didn't bring their passes to class. He said, "Yes, ma'am."
Before he drove his Mustang out of its reserved parking space, I also told him he was my hero, and that pretty much made his day.

I sat in the pew at his memorial service last Saturday laughing and crying at so many similar Kyle stories from other people whose lives were not just touched but truly changed by their experience of knowing Kyle. I didn't ask why this sweet young man had to suffer or why anyone has to be born with an illness they will never beat. I was just grateful for Monday Morning Maniacal Laughter Stories, pimped out walkers, and that I got to know and love such an untarnished example of completely selfless bravery.

When I heard that Kyle had passed away last week, the first thought that volunteered in my head was of him running and laughing with his dog that had died years ago across a big green field like a track star. I'm pretty sure that's right on.  

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