I have wanted to live in the mountains since I was 7. My parents used to pull a Griswald every year, load my brother and me into our blue Buick Regal with a coloring book and a piece of masking tape to put down the middle of the back seat, like the Berlin Wall, and my side was East! Approximately 1,537 license plate games later, we would be skiing in Colorado. I vividly remember walking outside in the frosty mornings, watching my breath float away in the crisp, quiet air and knowing this place was special. It was love at first sight, and my soul became that of a mountain girl. So I got there as fast as I could!
When I met Charge, I vividly remember my answer to his “Do you come here often” question. It was: “Listen, don’t get too excited. I’m moving somewhere with trees, mountains, and four actual seasons as soon as I can figure out how.” And we were married 7 months later with plans to move somewhere with a real REI and a 100-inch base every year.
We loaded up two cars and a U-haul and drove to Littleton, Colorado. Let the Happily Ever After Begin! I was in my new apartment with a view of the Front Range and brand new hiking boots. What more could a girl want! I was already making plans for three backpacking trips, entire weekends skiing in Summit County, and learning to rock climb on real rocks. Imagine my shock when the little pink line appeared in the wrong window!
I called my girlfriend whose husband is a pediatrician and said, “These things are totally unreliable, right? The instructions are in Korean, so I’m sure there is a mistake!” She said, “Yes! I finally get to see you fat!” I protested: I have never changed a diaper. I have never held an actual baby. Every diaper I ever put on my dolls fell off immediately, and when they peed water all over the place, I decided it was best not to feed them! I had just moved 1,200 miles away from my mother who instinctively I know is the only person who can make me feel better right now. I am uniquely unqualified for this!
I got off the phone with her, looked at the roomful of boxes and the mountains framed in the window behind them, and I wondered if they made special skis that you can attach to your belly.
Don’t get me wrong—I LOVE being a mom! I mean, I like the actual mom part of being a mom. My children giggle, or say “You are the best mommy ever,” and the world suddenly seems safe and right and full of hope and endless possibilities. But (come on, you knew it was coming) I have struggled since the moment that little pink line began materializing in that window with my identity and whom I would become when that pointy-headed, tie-dyed bundle of squirmy miracle was finally in my arms. How was this going to change me? Would I get lost forever in this world of Momminess? I decided right then and there; it was official. I didn’t know how, but I was determined to be my brand of mom, not checking my dreams and sense of wonder at the doorway into the portal of parenthood. No minivans or Soccer Mom stickers on my back window; no pre-notification of death outfits that scream “I will never be having sex again in my life after growing this kid!” Nope. I was going to do this my way. Mommyhood, here I come!
Now what?
So whenever one challenges the universe, it never fails to rise to the occasion and challenge right back. Like every challenge, the secret lies in how it’s handled. Naturally, I kind of suck at that when human life is at stake. Needless to say, this mom gig has been a never-a-dull-moment kind of Choose Your Own Adventure book. If you choose to let the screaming child scream, go to page 27 and visualize a bubble bath. If you choose to go pick up the screaming child and try to calm it down, go to page 42 and put earplugs in your ears...you can take a shower some other day...
Those days are pretty much in the past. It's a great thing when i can say, "Go get in the car," and by the time I make it to the garage, my kids are strapped in the back seat with their stuff. i've been wondering what to do with us now...I mean, we have two weeks off! "Yea!" but "Hmmmm."
I started googling things to do with boys, and I got some great but really expensive ideas. I immediately went back to what I'd most like to be doing today which is playing in the 6 inches of powder that landed in the Rockies yesterday! I feel a little bit sad that I can't throw my little guy in the 4-wheel drive, head up to the mountains, and learn to snowboard together. Or have a massive snowball fight! It's the sad part of living in the Dallas area--there's just not a lot going on unless your kid is an uber-athlete or you want to spend a small fortune!
So here's my solution: We are having a date at the Gaylord Texan Ice exhibit, followed by a trip to the Bass Pro Shop, and greasy cheeseburgers WITH bacon! Because there's nothing a good hamburger can't fix!
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