Things I'd like to Invent in All of My Spare Time

I'm forever thinking of things I'd like to invent or create. None of them actually exist because I either don't have the time or necessary expertise to produce any of them! Still, they are interesting ideas, and I keep thinking some of them could be the next best-selling item next Christmas! So here's my list, and hopefully the zany little ideas are good for a laugh!

1. Bunk Desks - I share an office with the greatest person! Mindy and I have a great working relationship and laugh all the time, plus we tend to crank out some pretty good stuff. In order to create "good stuff," one needs an unbelievable amount of supplemental stuff. We are just about out of space and starting to spread new stuff out on our floor! Our office is about the size of a dorm room or prison cell...and it's kind of set up the same way. My solution to our space issue is bunk desks! Not sure how the person on the top desk would sit there, but I'm sure a chair on stilts could be arranged!

2. Hairbrush Microphone - In honor of our weekly Dance Party Thursday, which has managed to creep into other days as well, I think my kids and preteen girls the world over would totally go for the real deal. After generations of slumber party veterans have used their hairbrushes to sing their hearts out to everyone from Elvis to Madonna and now every 80s song covered by Glee, a combination hairbrush/microphone would definitely make it into stockings at my house!

3. Taser App - For non-violent purposes only!!! I have walked through New York and taken a wrong turn. This would have come in handy. Come to think of it, I could have also used it on a train in Paris, every single time I took public transportation in Italy, and once in Baltimore when my purse was stolen! As my brother pointed out, it would completely drain the battery, but it might be worth it.

4. Fake Slap App - Because the best thing about those old movies is the SMACK! This way, you don't actually hurt anyone...or reap the consequences of smacking someone. This would work! Open the slap app, whiz that phone through the air in the general direction of the slapee, and SMACK! I think 5th grade boys would be all over that one!

5. High Heel Running Shoes - I love cop and detective shows. I never know how they are able to catch the bad guys running in those stilettos! Then I got to thinking...there are real female detectives and cops who have to chase down bad guys, and there's no, "Wait! Time out while I change my shoes!" So inventing a pair of Jimmy Choo-esque heels that are retrofitted as running shoes would totally solve that problem! Plus, I could run and be taller than an Oompa Loompa!

6. Robo Toilet Cleaners - So this probably won't work, but I sure wish it would! You know those robot vacuum cleaners that run around the house and clean the floors? Well, if they could be water-proofed and miniaturized, I'd love to throw one in the toilet, let it run around and clean the entire thing on a regular basis so I never have to clean another toilet ever again!

7. 365 Reasons to Go To Starbucks - I can't stomach spending $5 on a cup of coffee, unless I am rewarding myself for something. I wonder if I could get Starbucks to contract with me to write a coffee table book or a journal with 365 reasons to get Starbucks! I think they'd go for it! 365 perfectly good reasons to blow five bucks on coffee!

Got any other ideas?

(By the way, retailers, these are now officially copyrighted since they are in written form and you can't steal them unless you fork over some serious cash!) Yeah, I'm sure that'll work....