Off the Hook Thanks to the Rainbow Connection

As a special ed teacher, I've heard enough quotable statements come from parents to fill up one  downright entertaining coffee table book. One of the most profound and telling statements I've ever heard come out of a parent's mouth wasn't intended to be heard by any one except the other parent, but I'm so glad I heard it.

We had Meet the Teacher/Open House night right off the bat when I taught elementary school. It was the first week of the new school year, and the halls were full of kids and parents, teachers, and volunteers. The atmosphere was full of energy--like a first date when all you see is the positive and jump every time the phone rings for the next week. I had just checked in with my older students' families and was Richard-Simmons walking from the 6th grade area to kindergarten when I passed a couple having a rather animated discussion. The wife punched her husband in the arm, and then she said it:

"See, it's not just our kid...they're all like that!"

I stopped in the middle of the hallway, turned around to see his response because that was just about the most hilarious thing I'd heard all day! The husband looked at his wife in the way Kermit looks at Miss Piggy when they are running across the field during that Rainbow Connection song, and he planted one on her like they'd just won the lottery! At the time, I just thought it was a fantastic story. I shared it with anyone who would listen because it was just too good to keep, but over the years that quote has resonated with me.

It's extremely important to me that my children are polite, respectful, grateful, and responsible for themselves. I want them to do their very best as often as they are able, and I want them to be true to their passions in life--whatever those turn out to be. Unfortunately, there's not a How-to that tells me how to parent to this end, but I've read everything I can get my hands on to try and piece it together! So when I see my kids doing something that doesn't align with my high hopes and expectations, I start wondering where I went wrong. What lesson did I neglect to teach that allowed my child to think drawing a pirate mustache on the cat with a Sharpie would work out fine in the end? That's a benign example, but if you're a parent, you know the feeling...

That's when I remember Kermit and Piggy in the hallway and the magical quote: "See, it's not just my kid; they all act like that." In the course of growing my kids into the end result of a productive, positive adult, I tend to forget that they have to be kids first. And the number one job of a kid is to explore their world in a way that makes sense to them. Not in a way that makes sense to me. I know better because I already learned that lesson when I drew on the wall of my closet with crayons "I heart So-and-so" and my dad was not amused. I didn't do it again, but until we moved out of that house "I heart So-and-so" was right there on the closet wall to remind me what it was like to have my heart broken as a first grader and how silly it was to think I hearted anyone at that age. But, in all my first grader wisdom and life experience, I sure did! And looking back, I wasn't the only one! We all acted like that.

So today I'm officially giving my kids--and myself--a break. We are all going to live in and grow from our choices because that is what will help them become productive, positive adults. Because it's not just my kids; we all do that.